My name is jisoo ryu. my first name 'jisoo' means cultivating wisdom. this is maden by my dad. I like my name, but 'jisoo' is very popular name in korea. but, I don't care about it.
My birthday is feb, 11st, 1993. So i am twenty years old in korea, but in america, my age is 19. Because america's calculating age system is different from korea.
And i have four family. there are grandmother, mother, father, and younger sister. Especially i like my grandma, because my mom was very busy when i was young. so i feel my grandmother as mom. on the contrary, sometime i am lost word with my sister. I think that reason is that she is very younger than me, so we don't have any same interesting topics. My dad and mom are part-time lecture on university. they teach korea's history to students. But my dad was lecture. now he just go to labs. Although my parents are history teacher, i don't like history. I think this subject is hard to learn and so boring.
And introducing myself, I'm university student in korea. My major is international relations. Actually, i was interested in domestic politics. but unfortunately, this major doesn't exist on my university. So i choose my now major. Learning about relations among nations is so hard and difficult, but so interesting, too. Especially, i'm interested in Korea-China-U.S.A's relations.
And when i was freshman, I entered classic guitar club. I wanted to learn how to play electric guitar, but i had entered it! I though their playing skills are similar, but it wasn't. so i stopped it.
My favorite things, I like listening musics. Especially I like rock, pop, ballad. In korea, there are so many idol group, but i don't like them. and i like to riding a bicycle. There is Han-river park in seoul, korea. I used to go there to riding a bicycle. It feels very good! and i like watching korea drama. On my free-time, I used to watching past drama series.
Finally, what i want to do is entered korea NIS. NIS is National Intelligence Service. With my international intelligence, I want to working at that institute.
**Good job!! I think mostly what I saw were capitalization of words (especially names for things and at the start of sentences), a couple of verb tenses that needed correction, using "at" instead of "on" when talking about something occuring at a place, and where to put "especially" between words. I have more specific suggestions below. Again, you're off to a great start!!!**
ReplyDeleteI gave a lot of suggestions below. Don't worry about remembering everything, just fix what you can. Remember, you're not being graded! =)
DeleteWe will mostly be focusing on your speaking and pronunciation tomorrow. If you have any questions about anything I said, you can ask me then or post a reply on here!
Make sure you remember to capitalize any proper nouns (Jisoo Ryu, Korea, America, Seoul February, and I) and the first word in every sentence.
ReplyDelete"This is maden by my dad"-->"My dad named me." or you could say "My first name, which my dad gave me, means 'cultivating wisdom.'"
"But I don't care about it."-->Do you not care about your name or do you not care that is is very popular? You can say 'name' once if you want: "I like my name, but it is very popular in Korea." or "I like my name, although it is very common in Korea."
February 11st-->11th (said "eleventh", not "elevenst")
If you want, you can combine these sentences: "I am 20 years old in Korea, but because America's calculating age system is different, my age is 19 in the U.S."
I have four family-->I think you mean there are four members in your family, not that you have 4 different families. =) "There are four people in my family: my grandmother, mother, father, and younger sister."
Usually we say that "I especially like" something, not "especially I like..."
You could say that you view your grandmother more as a mother than your mom, or that she raised you more than your mother did when you were young.
"On the contrary"-->This phrase is used more for correcting someone else's beliefs or thoughts about something. "On the other hand" would be better here.
"I am lost word with..."-->"I am at a loss for words." Here, I think it would be easier to say "On the other hand, I am not very close to my sister" or "I have trouble relating to my sister", then add "because she is much younger than me, so we don't have anything in common to talk about"
"lecture on university"-->"lecturers at a university" (the plural of lecturer--someone who gives lectures)
You can combine these: "My mom and dad work part-time at a university as lecturers on Korean history" or "My parents are part-time lecturers in Korean history classes at a university."
If your dad is no longer a lecturer, you should say that your parents "were part-time lecturers," but that your father now just works in a lab.
history teacher-->history teachers (plural)
You don't have to say "and introducing myself." If you want, you could say "As for myself, I am a..." or you can just say "I am a..."
ReplyDelete"Actually, I was interested in domestic politics"--> put a comma between "politics" and "but." You don't have to have a comma after "unfortunately"
"on my university"-->"at my university"
"So I choose my now major"-->"So I chose my current major." ("chose" is the past tense of "to choose"; "current" should be used to describe a thing like your major instead of "now," which is more of a moment in time.)
"relations among nations"-->"relations between nations"
Again, it is better to put "especially" between "I am" and "interested" (same as "I especially like...")
"And when I was freshman"-->"When I was a freshman"
"entered classic guitar club"-->it is more common to say that you "joined" a club
You can combine these if you want: "I wanted to learn how to play electric guitar, and I thought the playing skills were the same, but it wasn't exactly, so I stopped going."
"My favorite things, I like listening musics"-->This actually sounds a little conversational, which is okay =) (I might say "My favorite things, hmm...I like listening to music"). I would probably write it as: "One of my favorite things is listening to music. I especially like rock, pop, and ballads."
"there are so many idol group"-->"there are so many idol groups" (plural groups)
"And I like to riding a bicycle"-->You could say "I also like to ride my bicycle" or "I also like riding bicycles" (You would say either "I like to ride", using the infinitive of the verb "to ride", or "I like riding", using the gerund, the -ing form of "to ride").
You can combine these: "I used to go riding my bicycle at the Han River Park in Seoul."
"I like watching Korea drama"-->"I like watching Korean dramas"
"On my free-time, I used to watching past drama series"-->"During my free time".
By "past" do you mean episodes that have already aired, or old series from many years ago? If they are recently past, then you would say you watch reruns of drama series. If they are many years past, you would probably say "old drama series."
Did you watch dramas in the past but not now, or do you still watch them? If you don't anymore: "I used to watch...", but if you still do "I watch..."
"what I want to do is entered korea NIS"==>"What I want to do is enter the Korean NIS (National Intelligence Service.)" You can also put "as a career" between "like to do" and "is enter" if you like.
"With my international intelligence"-->"intelligence" in English can refer to military intel/intelligence, usually when talking about spies. I am not sure if this is what you meant, although spies are very cool. =D If you meant more what you have learned about international relations, I would say "With my knowledge of international relations, I would like to work there."